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Hi, I'm Int. Age 19 on April. I do love arts and cats. Also a coffee,chocolate chip cookies and Harry Potter obsessed. I blog about what i loved to and sometimes my writing got lost from radar, so if you find it awful that makes your blood boil, just let me know.
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Wednesday, June 7, 2017 at 5:47 AM with 1 comment(s)

Praises be to Allah, the Cherisher and Sustainer of the worlds, Most Gracious, Most Merciful, in which we are still alive in this dunya, blissfully with iman and islam and that we are still given a chance to meet Ramadan Mubarak. 

How's your fasting month been doing? Anyway, I bid you a warm Ramadan Kareem(it is still not too late) and may Allah forgive each of us thus pleased to accept our deeds. 


Recently, we Malaysians have been flabbergasted by an uproar that taken place in one pandemonium defence university. The news spread like wildfire, pointing at bullying and ragging case. Sources said that the victim was brutally tortured (using belt, cloth hanger, pipe and iron steam) and ended up being murdered by 36 delinquents. This tragic action has opened up people eyes, either symphatizing the victim or anathematizing the murderer. 

Fret not, I'm not going to act as a commentator upon this case. I don't mind to pour fuel to the burning flame, not even. In fact, I greatly feel the needed of sharing this one thing to all. 

Why can this incident happen? Accurately, in Ramadan? 
Notes: Shaitans were prisoned in Hell fully month straight, but lusts stay remained. 

Let us re-check our heart. Are we truly ready to actually meet the fasting month? To devote the soul and be slave? How is our iman stake? Do we feel better and getting better each day? Do we feel enthusiasm to live in Ramadan? 

"When Ramadan enters, the gates of Paradise are opened, the gates of Hellfire are closed and the devils are chained. (Al-Bukhari and Muslim)"

Ramadan is designed for mankind to perform ibadah at it best. This month has its own perks, from the hindrance of eating and drinking all day long to Taraweeh prayer (following up with Witr prayer)  to Lailatul Qadr (it only occurs in last 10 nights of Ramadan and those who are lucky enough will be able to meet it). We are ask to refrain ourselves from food and liquid(including chewing gum, smoking cigarettes and the like) from dawn to sunset and instead renew our focus on prayers and increase our recitation of the Holy Quran. It allows worshippers to concentrate their minds on devotion to their faith through prayers, expressing gratitude, seeking forgiveness and helping the needy. It is the chance for a spiritual boost, with lessons to be applied long after the month is out. 

Again, fasting means abstaining from food, drink, smoking, sex, swearing, gossip or other sinful acts, during daylight hours. 

Ask ourselves. Where are we now and what we are doing at this time? Devoting self to ibadah or else?  Shaitans got locked up but how come crimes rising up?  Or the reality is that people are trying to engage with the devil's work? Regarding the bully case, people should vividly be bold and come forward to the awareness and this is what I want to tell. We just entered the Holy month, so do we have to clean our souls and make it meritorious. But, after all the catastrophe that happened, it is totally embarrassed, if it were, been done by Muslims. This spiteful action will never be able to content one's vengeance. The innocent victim is found dead, and the delinquents will have to face the music. 

To contemplating, ask ourselves, again. 
Are we truly ready to meet Ramadan? The answers are all within our hearts. 

A moment of silence to Zulfarhan Osman Zulkarnain. May his soul be placed among the noble ones. Al-Fatihah. 

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Friday, May 5, 2017 at 4:21 PM with 12 comment(s)


Time flying too fast and these past few months was super exceedingly hectic for me(or maybe that was my fault for not sane enough to utilize my life time). Never mind,  I'm not going to bleat about how incompetent me  was throughout the time. 

For not dawdling my writing-presence here,  I will just pick up directly from the title. To be very extremely frank, studying in Middle East(read: Egypt) was not my first choice, nor my childhood dream. Sceptical, wasn't it? It took me for only one full month to think straightly before I filled in the online application form and another one or half month left to settle up all the documents needed(after receiving the answer of the application) to be sent to the ministry office. Fret not, this is not what I'm going to chunter for forsooth. 

I reckon myself lucky enough for eagerly and insistedly on deciding to pursue my bachelor there, and I consider this is the answer for all my parent's prayers- to let me be in the right place, to study the holy courses. I applied for Islamic Studies in Usuluddin. At first,  I was given a choice to either staying in Malaysia or pursuing studies oversea. Too bad, so bad, I'm totally in hesitation mood. I was so crestfallen yet downcast everytime I think further about the thing. I kept studying this over and over, trying to find the best decision, and the fact that I urgently need any of my best friends- so that there would be a familiar face when I walked into the place, I almost give up when I knew my best friends couldn't make it. Thank god, I feel relieved after performing Istikharah. I finally can see the way out, and I am really excited to know that I actually have one of my best friend who stick on going to Egypt, too. Alhamdulillah, praises are all to Allah.

*view from the inside of Saudia airplane passenger seat. 

Of all the points of why I chose Middle East as my next destination, it is vividly because of my arabic language. I've lost a colossal amount of its vocabulary and I need to start back from the beginning. This is my most pure reason( after lillahi Taala) to study abroad in Egypt.  I see Egypt as the better and suitable place for me to improve my lughatul Arabiah. If I was still in Malaysia, I might not even care about this thing. SMH. 
Deep down my soul, I dreamed of memorizing( even a bit is a blessing) al-Quran. So, if I study here, I need to memorize 1 juz per year. Don't you think that is a benefit for me? In four years, I've already managed to memorize 4 juz. Even so, I still need your prayer for this endeavour and may Allah ease everything for me. I bet you guys enunciate well about the endless Islamic knowledge spreading in Egypt. That's the another reason of why I am determined to fly here. I want to gain more knowledge, obtain more beautifulness of my deen, Islam. I don't want to wast my time anymore. I've been procrastinating for so long. Pity me. The last reason was maybe a strong feeling of me wanting to appreciate properly the value of family and friendship. There was a saying that If you stay apart from the beloved one, you will be more aware to appreciate their present. *right now I am missing my family so bad. 


Anyway, if you are the type of person who seeks for lavishness, think it twice, Egypt was not a right place for you to study into. All you need to have is a strong and fix heart. This place here was just so full of life test and so on. There are two paths to choose to,  either you choose to go on with Firaun lifestyle or Prophet Musa's. (please pray for my well being here.) Also, for those who are still not knowing my present here, I am deeply sorry for not broadcasting the news. Me either, cant pinpoint the right reason of not telling you guys about this. Is it about the time-lacking? I'm not sure. Pardon me.

All in all, my journey here has just began. It is accurately 27th day of me living here. And, there's still lot that I need to start and my journey here is still way long. My class is yet to start and I have to attend my language class first before entering the university.  Lastly, I'm not going to apologize for the another hiatus because this blog is going to be neglected for a couple of months more(or maybe not) because of the internet hmm. (For Nabila, I still need some more times to completing your tagged post hehehe).  Till we meet again. 

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Friday, March 17, 2017 at 8:04 AM with 5 comment(s)

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As you guys know and enunciate very well, yesterday mark the long-awaited day of 2016 spm candidates to be receiving their result. It happened a bit late( few days of being postponed) compared to previous year due to several reasons. Becomes a tradition, of course there are those who achieved strings of As, those who scored a so-so result and those who dont really passed the examinations. For sure, the day has been filled with the zest of excitement and a dreadfully sorrow feelings. I used to feel it- just the same way.

Speaking of which, i have a brother(read:adik) who sat for his SPM examination last year, too. Alhamdulillah, he passed for all the 9 subjects he sat for. Tell me, which sister is on cloud of nine other than me. None. I felt so glad that my boy did well for his big exam. Why i looked so jubilant even i just said that he passed, not stating how many As he did grab?  Let me clarify this. To let you know, my brother has only enter secondary school the same year he sat for SPM, exactly 9 months before. He was actually a tahfiz student and just came back from Yemen(he didnt- cant proceed his studies there because there has been a great and serious war between the members of Shiite and Sunni's.) He supposed to study abroad for completely 4 years but only surviving there until the 6th month before the phenomenal situation coerced him and his fellows to get back to Malaysia. As a strong clarification, he has never been exposed to the school subjects and he doesnt even took PT3, increasing the problems he had to face. First, he doesnt own a fix and firm basic of the subjects and second, it was not a common and habitual things for my poor brother to accustom with the terms and the conditions and all of the provided formats.

The fact that time flies, he has to push himself to struggle hustily in order to catch up with the topics. If i were in his shoes, i will just surrender and bye. It is crazy, dude. In this case, I solemnly swear i am no good to be compared to him. He reluctants to just giving up on that, but continued to make it through. He believed that beautiful rainbow will soon appear when the heavy rain stop coming down. Albeit his circumstances cant really guarantee his bright future,he is determined to sit for it. Really proud of you boy.

Now, he can smile broadly and happily as his hardwork has paid off. Achieving a sole A- for Bahasa Malaysia and credit for the rest subjects, cant help, but feeling so grateful. It is beyond our expectation, to be honest. Despite of all the trials and tribulations, he shined bright. Alhamdulillah 'alaa kulli hal wan ni'mah.

*me and my brother*

Also, i would like to wish Happy Birthday to my crazy and pesky mate, Balqis who is turning 19 today. Much love to you. ≧﹏≦

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